Birthdays after 21 were just a # – but 46 made me pause…
3 of 4 grandparents made it to 91 or older. That has me sitting at the half way mark right now. The second half of my time here on this side of the veil…
Yesterday I reflected on my first half…and came to some realizations that I wanted to share and revisit every year on my birthday…
I began my life learning how the world works…the basics then how to succeed in this world.
In my next chapter, I focused on trying to be the person I thought others wanted me to be in an effort to fit in. To be accepted. In that season I was hyper-achievement oriented. The more I achieved the more I thought I would feel like I would fit in or feel like I was “enough”
Spoiler alert- I never felt like I was enough or fit in
Then in my 30s, I made a shift and focused on becoming the person I wanted to be. I focused on myself- healing past wounds and honestly, something still felt “off”
Then I realized why…
That season was all about MYSELF. Personal development. SELF-help. I was all in. Heck it’s what I spent many years teaching….
Ironically—- the more I dug into that realm, the more isolated and lonely I got. I was SO focused on trying to fix myself.
I believed that old saying that “I am the only problem I’ll ever have, and I am the only solution.”
I came to discover the error of that statement…(It leaves the Lord out of the equation!)
Over the past couple of years I have grown so much- and the lessons I learned fueled a decision I made yesterday about how I’m walking into this 2nd half of my life…
In my second half, I decided:
I am focusing solely on becoming the woman God wants me to be in all areas of my life- all of the hats I wear.
I will be Unbecoming everything that is not in alignment with the above…Why?
God created me and it’s His will for my life that I will submit to. As I look back on the past 46 years, I see time and time again how His plans are far better than anything I could ever dream up.
In this second half- I want to do ALL of the things He’s called me to do. Mom, Wife, Entrepreneur, Small Group Leader, Connector, Lawyer, Writer, Speaker…
I want to do the things I feel incapable of doing or unqualified to do. Even the things that scare me.
I believe God will multiply my time as He always has to enable me to live out His will for my life.
In this next chapter I want to be the very best ambassador for Christ that I can possibly be and for me to do that- in this next chapter I want to grow even closer to the Lord and get to know Him in a much deeper way.
To sum it up l – in this half— I want more of the Lord and less of me.
So grateful to my family and friends that are on this journey with me. The best is yet to come!
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